theTimeVault
- Description:
- Hello and welcome to theTimeVault. The aim of this podcast is to review, chat and banter about some of our favourite subjects: Doctor Who, Hammer, Blake's 7 and The Avengers... Some of you may know us from a previous life where we were two of the three presenters of Cadmium2. On that podcast we were watching Doctor Who in order, from the very beginning, as well as covering many other entries in the British Cult TV and Film world. Now, although Cadmium2 has ceased to be, we have decided (after many, many requests from listeners) to continue the Doctor Who part of that task and we're happy to carry on where we left off. Thanks for listening, we hope you enjoy it. Paul and Mike
Homepage: http://thetimevault.wordpress.com
RSS Feed: http://www.thetimevault.co.uk/mike/tvlist.xml
- Episodes:
- 34
- Average Episode Duration:
- 00:00
- Longest Episode Duration:
- 00:00
- Total Duration of all Episodes:
- 0 minutes and 0 seconds
- Earliest Episode:
- 13 February 2011 (4:30pm GMT)
- Latest Episode:
- 2 August 2012 (11:05pm GMT)
- Average Time Between Episodes:
- 15 days, 18 hours, 32 minutes and 47 seconds
theTimeVault Episodes
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033 Doctor Who (The Claws of Axos)
Episode Duration: 0 minutes and 0 secondsIt's a U.N.I.T. night out and they've chosen to go to the new Italian restaurant down the road, Axonite's The Brig argues with the regular military over who's going to pay, the Master turns up even though he wasn't invited and one of their guests insults the Doctor's equipment so they spend the rest of the night arguing about who's is biggest. Jo loses her appetite after she gets lost in the kitchens and sees the chef doing something with a giant frog and the American liaison has waaay too much to drink, starts seeing double and punches himself in the face. All in all, a typical night out...... Until someone orders the spaghetti bolognese. Nobody was expecting it to be THAT spicy!
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032 Blake's 7 (Project Avalon - Breakdown)
Episode Duration: 0 minutes and 0 secondsThe crew of the Liberator go on one of those team-building exercises, you know the kind of thing, a bit of potholing, spaceship racing, flamethrower avoidance, suicidal vortex diving, a rather easy game of hide and seek and hitting each other over the head with bits of the ship. Travis wants to join in but the scantily clad fem-bot he brings with him upsets everyone so he throws a strop and gets his evil balls out. There's only one thing you can do after an experience like that...but Gan does his Captain Caveman impression instead. It doesn't go down well.
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031 Doctor Who (The Mind of Evil)
Episode Duration: 0 minutes and 0 secondsThe Master makes Jo eat some porridge while a brain in a box goes for a walk. Yates discovers that his equipment is well and truly bent and forgets how to ride a bike. Benton goes on a power trip while the Brigadier sells potatoes and an imaginary dragon argues with an American tourist over a hotel room. The Doctor has an unnecessary cup of tea. Mind of Evil? Mind of a Freaking Loony Writer if you ask me.
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030 Blake's 7 (Mission to Destiny - Duel)
Episode Duration: 0 minutes and 0 secondsIt didn't take long for the crew of the Liberator to start pairing off, just in time for a weekend break... Avon and Cally go on a murder mystery weekend in a spaceship full of planks and struggle to solve the only (very obvious) clue. But, to be fair, it's hard to concentrate when you're being stared at by couple of angry perms while a midget with super strength keeps getting in your way. Blake and Jenna go on a double date in the woods with Travis and his lady friend. They film themselves engaging in rough, physical action that leaves them all hot and sweaty. Much to the disappointment of the locals... ...and the entertainment of Vila and Gan who are lounging about on the sofa watching it all as it's streamed live.
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029b Terrorised! (TVC1)
Episode Duration: 0 minutes and 0 secondsWell, you asked for it. Okay, you didn't but you've got it anyway.
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029 Doctor Who (Terror of the Autons)
Episode Duration: 0 minutes and 0 secondsA stage hypnotist and a factory worker employ a team of mime artists to run their own radio station whilst taking part in a bus tour for a group of artificial florists with abnormally large heads. Clearly this contravenes all the laws of, erm...sense, so U.N.I.T. is called in to put a stop to it. The Doctor can't take part though because he's confused by a window and challenged some clowns to a fist fight. Not to worry, the clumsy work experience girl has just brought the Brigadier a damp plank of wood, just what he needs to defeat the Sparkly Fingers of Death...
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028 Hammer (The Hound of the Baskervilles)
Episode Duration: 0 minutes and 0 secondsWhat do a tarantula, a herring and a butler's wife's brother have in common? I don't know either but they all cause trouble for the World's greatest detective, Sherlock Holmes. So much trouble in fact, that he does a bunk for most of the adventure and decides to try his hand at more respectable employment. His eclectic choices of hotel management, pest control, impressionist and telescope repair man don't go well though so he decides to jack it all in and live in a swamp. Until a mad spanish gypsy woman has a row with a horny rich toff in a field, whereupon Holmes proceeds to break up the row by fighting a dog with a bag on it's head. Sherlock Holmes......he's a bit of a mentalist.
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027 Doctor Who (Inferno)
Episode Duration: 0 minutes and 0 secondsThe Centre of the Earth. A fascinating subject, tackled by many different writers and storytellers over the ages; what wonders are to be found at the Earth's core? What dangers, treasures and enchantments are waiting to be discovered? But as good as these stories may be, that is all they are - stories, flights of fancy. The truth is like nothing you could imagine and now, finally, Doctor Who has revealed to us that most incredible truth. The Earth's core (drum roll please) is full......of...... Snot. Boiling. bubbling snot. And hair. Lots of it, all over the body. There's also a lot of burning hot magma spewing forth like the after-effects of a really hot curry. Strangely enough no women get affected by these things, only men. So join us as we discuss Doctor Who and the Hot 'n Hairy Snot Monsters from the Earth's Core
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026 Sapphire and Steel (Assignment 4)
Episode Duration: 0 minutes and 0 secondsThis one's got a man without a face. Honestly, how crap is that for a villain? Okay, so you've only got one arm or maybe a wooden leg, or even just an eyepatch, you can still have a good chance of taking over the world or causing havoc. But I mean, come on... He doesn't have a FACE! He can't see where he's going, he can't ask for directions...he can't even use a mirror to draw one on. He'll never lick stamps, or roll his tongue into a tube or say any of the truly great words like 'moist', 'spasm' or 'smock' and everyone he meets will just spend all their time making rude gestures at him in the joyous knowledge that he doesn't have a clue. It's no life for a villain. Although to be fair, when it comes down to the final face-off with his enemies, he's already got one hell of a head-start.
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025 Doctor Who (The Ambassadors of Death)
Episode Duration: 0 minutes and 0 secondsA gunfight...of DEATH! A fist-fight...of DEATH! A car chase...of DEATH! Underground bunkers, astronauts, aliens, radiation...of DEATH, helicopters, more underground bunkers, explosions, a baker's van...of DEATH, false beards and some crap magic. So as Benton hands round the Ferrero Rocher...of DEATH! (Timevault, you are really spoiling us), it can only mean one thing... It's The Ambassadors...of DEATH! Boinnngggggg!
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024 Blake's 7 (The Web - Seek-Locate-Destroy)
Episode Duration: 0 minutes and 0 secondsThe pressure's starting to get to them. After spending the day fending off mind control, genocide, girl on girl action, little squeaky white things and an angry midget in a fish tank, the crew of the Liberator go a bit bonkers; listening to a stolen radio, catching amnesia (all of them) and stealing from an - understandably - angry motorcycle courier who seems to have lost his bike. They're just a bunch of hooligans really.
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023 Doctor Who (Doctor Who and the Silurians)
Episode Duration: 0 minutes and 0 secondsDomestic disputes are so inconvenient aren't they? One minute your bicycle-powered nuclear reactor is causing a power cut and keeping your next-door neighbours awake (well, the ones you haven't got tied up in the kitchen) and the next thing you know you're being investigated by the government, soldiers have cordoned off your street and your neighbours have released a virulent, communicable monkey plague into your living room. Hasn't anyone heard of community spirit?
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022 Hammer (Twins of Evil)
Episode Duration: 0 minutes and 0 secondsWhat a pair! The local schoolteacher finds them to be a right handful, the God-fearing puritans struggle to get to grips with first one then the other; even the vampire on the hill can't wait to start sucking on them. Honestly, they just can't contain themselves. Careful handling is advised. What? I know she's got a sister, they're twins. What did you think I was talking about?
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021 Doctor Who (Spearhead from Space)
Episode Duration: 0 minutes and 0 secondsThink of all the monsters that you've ever heard about Like Sea Devil, Krynoid, Rutan and Slitheen There are lots of weird monsters in the Universe But have you ever seen an Auton that is green? Seen! An Auton that is positively green? Well that's because there aren't any, There really aren't any An Auton isn't eco-LOG-ic-ally sound They're not bio-degradable They're made of plastic with no voice, they're just a Massive tool They'll kill us all 'cos they're Autons They're bloodthirsty Autons They want to wipe out our race Because they're silent, violent, take a long time to melt Plastic (and drastic) from feeeeeet to faaaaaaaaaaaaaaace (bom ba dom bom ba dom bom)
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020 Doctor Who (The War Games)
Episode Duration: 0 minutes and 0 secondsSo you're planning to conquer the Galaxy? Do you have a big, villainous beard, treacherous subordinates with slightly smaller villainous beards, nameless minions with pvc uniforms and weird guns? Do you have an air of menacing authority, a bold, inventive, never been done before plan involving fog, mud, designer glasses and pop art wallpaper? If the answer to all these is a big YES, then you're ready to begin. Just make sure that you stop off on the way and get yourself an arch nemesis and your own personal fanfare.
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019 Doctor Who (The Space Pirates)
Episode Duration: 0 minutes and 0 secondsHow come metal wigs never took off as a fashion accessory? They're shiny, long lasting (barring rust), work brilliantly as a hard hat, available in different styles (the one being modelled here is in a rather attractive beehive with parting) and you can decorate them yourself. Okay, you'll never be able to look down without falling over and fridge magnets will suddenly become a nuisance but that's not many downsides.
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018 Hammer (Dracula - Prince of Darkness)
Episode Duration: 0 minutes and 0 secondsA professional cat impressionist with an outdated sense of dress, a medically recognised allergy to sunlight and a desperate need for some dental work is unfairly victimised by a bunch of squatters who've quite clearly mistaken his stately home for the Three Bears cottage (they sit in his chairs, eat his food and sleep in his beds). It's obviously not a fairytale though because after barging into the poor man's home and helping themselves to all his stuff, they creep into his bedroom to do who knows what and he's forced to defend himself. When Reservoir Priest turns up on the side of the squatters though, it just gets nasty. Victimisation by the church of lonely, disabled social outcasts and upper class English tourists behaving like common criminals... Honestly, what is the world coming to?
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017 Doctor Who (The Seeds of Death)
Episode Duration: 0 minutes and 0 secondsLisssping lizardssss plan to spread their seed across the planet (eurgh!) and invade, but the Doctor gets them to agree to a dancing competition; the winner get's the Earth. His largely improvised routine is lots of running about and arm waving, which can't compete when the Martians get their best warrior to do 'the robot'. The judges (a posh bird and two old blokes with saggy trousers who work for a flying carpet manufacturer) reluctantly give that round to the Ice Warriors. While Earth's security forces all go for a bubble bath, it looks like mankind is finished as the Glam Rock Marshal and his Disco Lizards plan a show-stopping number in the final round...... Can the Doctor, Jamie and Zoe's last minute rain dance win them the trophy?
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016 Blake's 7 (Cygnus Alpha - Time Squad)
Episode Duration: 0 minutes and 0 secondsBlake's 5 settle down to a quiet night in on the sofa with some stickers, a bag of mints, a massive stash of treasure and an inflatable spanner, but the evening's spoilt by the gate-crashing antics of a violent religious psychopath, some elderly gladiators and a ventriloquist without a dummy. Something tells me this party's going to end with a BANG...
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015 Doctor Who (The Krotons)
Episode Duration: 0 minutes and 0 seconds"Doctor, Doctor, there's a giant crystalline monster with a funny voice in my soup!" "Don't you mean waiter?" "No, no. It's definitely a giant crystalline monster with a funny voice." Bu-dum! Tsh! Thank you very much ladies and gentlemen, We're here all week. Don't forget to tip your Kroton
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014 Hammer (Lust for a Vampire)
Episode Duration: 0 minutes and 0 secondsor Hammer (The Christopher Lee Tribute Band Goes Back to School) An all-girl boarding school with a see-through dress code, a headmistress perverting the course of justice, a history teacher who worships the undead and a new member of staff called Dick who's desperate to introduce all the girls to his richard (or something like that)... That's right, in the best tradition of shows like Panorama and News Night, we look at a fly-on-the-wall documentary about the declining standards in education. With added blood and tits.
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013 Doctor Who (The Invasion)
Episode Duration: 0 minutes and 0 secondsCyberman, Cyberman, does whatever an emotionless, semi-organic, flesh-filled exoskeleton can Hard to miss, rather large, wouldn't fit in a barge Look out! Here comes a Cyberman.
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012 Hammer (Hands of the Ripper)
Episode Duration: 0 minutes and 0 secondsWrists of the Tearer, Knuckles of the Strangler, Thumbs of the Puncher, Index Finger of the Presser - these are just a few of the ideas that were discarded in favour of Hands of the Ripper; a film about whores, frauds, a wet fish and a right berk.
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011 Doctor Who (The Mind Robber)
Episode Duration: 0 minutes and 0 secondsA Doctor, a faceless boy and an improbable martial artist do battle with a hairy woman, a blow-up corpse, robots from another show and the worst fake nose in history. All because some old guy can't work his computer.
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010 Blake's 7 (The Way Back - Space Fall)
Episode Duration: 0 minutes and 0 secondsActually, there were never more than 6 of them and that wasn't until episode 4 and for the last two series there were only 5 and Blake wasn't in it. Talk about false advertising. So join our campaign to rename the show "Blake's or Whoever's 7 (Actually 6) or Lower" or we'll tranquillise you, brainwash you, frame you for an unspeakable crime and fire you off into deep space.
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009 Doctor Who (The Dominators)
Episode Duration: 0 minutes and 0 secondsTwo overly butch aliens called 'Dominators' hunt submissive men in skirts because they want some slaves that they can force to take part in something called a Dull Kiss (I'm quite relieved they never explain that bit). Alright, who said subtext?
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008 Hammer (The Devil Rides Out)
Episode Duration: 0 minutes and 0 secondsSpying, trespass, assault, incitement to riot, double kidnapping, multiple car theft, graffiti, wanton vandalism, time manipulation, possession of the living by the dead, chicken in a basket and saying it's all God's fault... the aristocracy isn't what it used to be. I blame the parents.
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007 Doctor Who (The Wheel in Space)
Episode Duration: 0 minutes and 0 secondsThe Wheel in Space goes round and round Round and Round Round and Round The Wheel in Space goes round and round All. Day. Long (repeat continuously for 6 episodes).
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006 The Avengers (Death at Bargain Prices - Something Nasty in the Nursery)
Episode Duration: 0 minutes and 0 secondsMike takes things too seriously. Paul loses his sparkle.
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005 Doctor Who (Fury from the Deep)
Episode Duration: 0 minutes and 0 secondsSeaweed; noun; ('si, wi,d) Any of numerous multi-cellular marine algae that grow on the seashore, in salt marshes, in brackish water or submerged in the ocean. Reacts badly to Victorian teenagers, is easily offended by the Dutch and can cause emission of gas in Human males. Can fly helicopters.
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004 Hammer (The Vampire Lovers)
Episode Duration: 0 minutes and 0 secondsThere's not much that can be said about this one without using words like 'nubile', 'heaving', 'bouncing' or 'woodsman's daughter' but I'll try. Ingrid Pitt and Madeline Smith are......No. No, that's it, I need to go and have a cold shower.
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003 Doctor Who (The Web of Fear)
Episode Duration: 0 minutes and 0 secondsThe TARDIS crew display their ball skills in this short-awaited sequel. The Doctor and friends arrive in the London Underground to do a spot of spring cleaning and what do they find hiding amongst the dust and cobwebs? Why it's their old friend with the pervy voice and hairy minions. Journalists, geriatrics, sexists and the Welsh; stumbling around in the dark has never been so much fun. But it's not enough. The Doctor can't sort things out on his own, he needs a hairy beastie to fight hairy beasties...... Say hello to the man with the 'tache.
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002 The Avengers (Mr Teddy Bear - From Venus with Love)
Episode Duration: 0 minutes and 0 secondsPaul courts controversy. Mike makes some bad jokes.
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001 Hammer (Quatermass and the Pit)
Episode Duration: 0 minutes and 0 secondsA film about a bearded scientist in a hole who hits the only woman in London because an insect under a train station tells her to throw stuff at him